First, some background is in order.
I’ve been slowly coming to grips with the necessity to upgrade my computer – again. You likely know the drill: every five years or so having to drop $2000 plus tax on an upgraded Mac because the new software has gotten too sloppy fat to fit on the old OS (remember the tiny self-contained box with 512 mb that seemed enormous?! — but I show my age here.)
My current silicon-based dream sidekick of choice, the Macbook Pro 13″, does not come with an anti-glare screen – and that shininess of the default screen drives me mad. I mean, the magpie in me does love shiny, but we don’t love seeing our own reflection when we’re seeking to focus on other. And I like to write outside, which due to that reflectiveness in light means no sun, ever, so brrr and back inside just to thaw out and be vitamin-D deprived and grumpy. Why won’t Apple make the 13″ with a non-glare screen? They offer the 15″ and 17″ laptops and even the Air 13″ with it (albeit at extra cost), plus every computer before this Intel chip version had such a screen as standard, so I know it’s possible. Darned cheapskates, not offering the smallest laptop in non-glare. Grrr. Brr and grr. (Thank you, bears, for this most useful phoneme.) But I digress. I struggle with the idea of lugging around a heavy 15″ laptop after loving my used 12″ Powerbook G4 for so long. Plus there’s the extra cost of a 15″ vs. a 13″, the latter of which I’d prefer anyway except for that blasted shiny screen. So I waste embarrassing amounts of my precious life looking online, and then go repeatedly to the Apple store to physically touch these things I’ve seen in cyberland. (Does this sound familiar?) I’m a rather reluctant shopper because of dismally slow decision-making. The American economy had better not wait for me to save it.
Window shopping online, I discovered a new option: the Macbook Pro also comes in GOLD. 24k gold, to be precise. With the Apple logo in — yes, you guessed it if you’re over the top and love glitter musicals — real diamonds.
I’m not making this up!
Now that’s shiny.
It comes with personalized engraving in the language of your choice. Pricing starts at $29,000 USD. (Sure – I’ll take two!)
ComputerChoppers has also made a rose gold and black anodized Macbook Pro 17″.
If for some reason you’re not into Apple, you can get a 24kt Gold Blackberry Bold 9000 – priced at only $940 including a “black leather rear.”
On a particularly amusing note, this model is advertised by luxurylaunches.com as being “less gaudy.”
They can plate anything, it seems – wanna bling your grandma’s false teeth? They’ll plate your iPhone beginning at $699 USD, phone not included. For the kids, gold PlayStations are available, starting at $4999.
On this pricing, why not just call it $5000? Please: does anyone really think “4000″ instead of “5000″ when reading “4999″? Further, folks are unlikely to quibble over that lone dollar. “Well, I’m not about to spend $5000 to fancify this gadget. I wouldn’t mind $4999, but there’s a limit.” Oy.
The basic idea is that our culture has come to collect stuff in order to show off to others. Not because we need it, or necessarily even really like it, but in order to display status. Wealth = power, you know, so it becomes important to create this image through our purchases. Keeping up with the Joneses and all that follows, as does low self-esteem if your stuff is not the proper stuff, as can be witnessed in the cruelty and desperation of teenagers over $200 status shoes, or the cachet that a Coach handbag can confer among women.
But this becomes dangerous. We can begin to equate personal worth with material goods. And these are usually goods that have nothing to do with us, really – they’re not handed down from the family, or created by friends or ourselves. There’s no connection; there’s no story. And without storied connection there’s not much real honor in its owning. I mean, most of these pricey items were made in third-world factories with dubious policies regarding employee rights. Where’s the honor in wearing some sweatshop child’s suffering?
And to take it even further in an animistic sense, all of these things began as someone else’s body. Furniture was trees; clothing and handbags were plants and animals; computers were metals deep in the earth. So the question then becomes, was it worth it to turn them into… this? How do these beings feel about becoming, say, a hat with fake plastic poop on top? And if they are unhappy about it, what effect does that have on the humans who now live with them?
Now I’m a fan of arting things up if anyone is. But I prefer the DIY method. Check out this steampunked computer and keyboard modded by the now-legendary Datamancer.
So in the end, I decided to stick with my old Powerbook for awhile longer. It still does most of the things I need it to, and it’s the perfect size.
It’s really nice, plus easier on both the wallet and the planet, to want what you already have.